Tonight sort of rocked my world a bit. It started out great - my husband and two little kids agreed to join me for a night of baking cookies with the boys from Boys Republic (Logyn is unable to go because of her age). This ministry means a lot to me and I love being able to offer hope to these young boys. My kids had a blast baking and running around. Todd and I both enjoyed listening to the boys as they were eager to share their stories of poverty, heartache, and tragedy. Most of these boys are without fathers, in gangs, behind on school credits, etc etc etc. The relatives they "look up to" are often in jail. They have very little to look forward to upon returning to their normal lives.
It is always somewhat heartbreaking to go to Boys Republic as I think about the statistics and realize how the boys truly have an uphill battle ahead of them. But I'm always thankful that we believe in a BIG God, who can accomplish BIG things!!
Tonight was no different... until we gathered in the car to drive home. Almost immediately, my children went from laughing and playing with the boys, to fighting with each other over the DVD in our car. They were complaining that it wasn't playing right and it seemed scratched. They went from totally happy to totally argumentative, just because they couldn't watch their DVD right at that moment. I was somewhat appalled. Thoughts ran through my mind..Do they even realize how blessed they are? Can they even comprehend how much easier if will be for them to live than it is for the boys they were just laughing with?
I soon realized though -- Of course they can't! How could they?? Yes they see me prepare for Guatemala and they hear about the kids with no food, but have they ever been truly hungry? They hear about buying books and clothes for kids in our community, but have they ever been without?
I began to wonder how it was that a parent in our society can possibly teach their children these lessons without completely denying them any casual comforts... As a parent, I love to see my children happy and I love to bless them any chance I get. But as a Christ follower, am I causing them spiritual harm? I honestly don't know...
And then, I came home and once the house was quiet, I began reading some of the blogs from my favorite authors. Ann Voskamp writes one such blog, and she was surprisingly talking about the book,
Kisses from Katie, which happens to be one of the books that inspired me to pursue missions in the first place.
Katie was an 18 year old girl who had everything, according to world standards. She was homecoming queen, class president, had a great car, cute boyfriends, etc.--- but left it all to go to Uganda and live out Jesus's calling.
I have read her book and it has impacted me immensely...and now, here I was reading
Ann Voskamp's reaction to the same book :
"Is it even possible to be a radical Christ-follower — and own a mini-van, have more than one bathroom, order clothes from Land’s End, and lay your head down on a pillow when He had none? Really? What is the North American church really supposed to do? What are mothers really supposed to do?"
This, I realize, is the question that lingers in my soul. What am I really supposed to do? How can I teach my children how blessed they truly are while we live here in the United States? How can I be a good parent, pointing my children towards Christ, and still wishing to bless my children immensely? What is more important-- their earthly comforts or their spiritual well-being?
Obviously, I vote for their spiritual well being ... And yet I'm left with the nagging feeling -- how?
I have them in church groups and Christian schools. I pray with them and for them. We listen to worship music in the car and at home. Yet still, they argue over toys, they complain about their food, and they don't like to serve one another. Should I simply brush that off as normal kid behavior, or would that be negligent of me somehow?
How can a blessed family, living in a blessed nation, learn to be the least of Jesus's followers?
I'm pretty sure it isn't by a few nights of baking with boys, even though that might be a good start. Still, I'm left with the gut-wrenching question deep within my soul - what now Lord? I want to be your servant. I want to teach my children how to be your servants. Is there a way to be spiritually rich without being earthly poor?
Father, I am comforted by the fact that Your Word says that You desire to bless your children, just as I desire to bless my own. Please help me and my husband to find a balance of blessings and sacrifice with our family, so that we may honor you and live for You alone. I want my entire family to be spiritually rich Lord, no matter what the cost. We praise you and honor Your Holy name. In Jesus's name, Amen
