In Memory of Charles Maurer

Shortly after I met Todd, we were on our way to a Bon Jovi concert when Todd got a call from his mom that his dad would receive a new liver that night. I hadn't even known that his dad was a transplant patient until then (we had known each other for just a few weeks). Right then, I saw just how important his dad was to him. It wasn't long before his dad was recovering and Todd's parents moved in with him. As soon as I met his parents, I could tell there was something very special about their family. Todd had the utmost respect for them, and they for him as well. The lived under the same roof for an entire summer without a single conflict. (If you are used to a family like mine, you know how rare that actually is!) During that time, I had the pleasure of getting to know Chuck and Kathy, two of the most devoted parents you will ever meet.

I am so glad that Chuck was able to witness us getting married, having children, and owning our own home. He has always been so supportive of Todd, and of our relationship, and was a wonderful grandfather to all three of our girls, as well as his three grandchildren from Todd's sister, Paige.

When Todd and I got married, I gave Chuck and Kathy a poem about how grateful I was to them for raising such a wonderful man. Unfortunately, I never got the chance to actually sit down with Chuck and tell him just how thankful I was to him for being such a good role model. I truly believe his memory will live on for so many reasons, but most improtantly for me, because MY children will benefit from the kind of dad he was to Todd. Todd is a loving, devoted, generous father who puts his kids before anything. I know he got that from his dad. Thank you Chuck for raising my husband to be the man of my dreams, the father of my children that I've always hoped for. You raised the most amazing man I've ever known....one with integrity, high morals, devotion to God, and more love in his heart than most people will ever know.

You will forever be missed, but never forgotten!!! We love you Papa!

My "Superstar"

Today was Logan's first performance for her Hip Hop dance class. She was AMAZING! The group performed in a professional theatre ($20 a ticket!!) and I was so impressed. The entire studio did so well, and my little Lolo has finally found something that she truly loves! I am one very proud mommy! These are the moments that truly make being a parent so special, and can I just say how much I LOVE having little girls??? It was so cute to do her hair and make-up this morning, and to see her excitement all day!

At one point, she came downstairs and I asked her if she cleaned her room and made her bed. She replied, "I'm a superstar today mom, and superstars don't have to clean their rooms." HA! (Of course I told her that she could get her superstar little behind back upstairs because my superstar DOES have to clean her room!)

What a little munchkin...

Here are some of the highlights.

Living in the moment

Lately I have been struggling with something - trying to appreciate the good, not worry too much about the bad, and live as much as I can in the moment. It isn't easy. Well, at least not for someone like me. I am so worried about Brenna (who is not showing any signs of improvement). This worry seems to be clouding everything else right now, though I am consciously fighting against it. What do you do when one of your children seems to be in so much pain? How do you not worry? How do you try to fully experience the joys of the other stages that your family is going through? My only answer right now is through faith.

This is Brenna pretty much 90% of the day when she's not sleeping.




Isn't that so sad? She is so very uncomfortable and it is all I can do not to cry along with her. My mommy bear instinct wants to keep taking her to the doctor, demand more tests, research endlessly on the internet. However, I know that I have to trust my doctor and leave my worries at the feet of God, especially so that I can focus on my other kids, who by the way, are so amazing!

Case in point: Logan and the chipmunks....

Logan is definitely hitting her tween stage. I can see her trying to discover herself, her interests, her place in this world and it is awesome being a witness to that. I pray every day that I can take it all in, appreciate her growth and guide her in the best way I can. In my efforts to try to reassure her that she has not been lost in the shuffle of things, we have committed to a date night at least once a month. This month, we decided to see a movie. I was surprised to see so many teenagers there without supervision, doing things that I wouldn't necessarily approve of my own children doing. I kept thinking, oh no...this is just a few years away for Logan. Holy moly! This seriously made me want to slow down time, and I was convinced yet again of the importance of living in the moment for ALL of my children.

Just as these thoughts were circling through my head, my little Logan saw something that completely excited her. As if on cue, she reminded me that she was still my baby girl....still so innocent....

And this is what she saw....




Here's my tween, amongst all of those trouble making teenagers, thrilled to take a picture with Alvin and the Chipmunks! I could just hear the whisper in my head....

Enjoy these moments


Thank you Lord for that very needed reminder!


And then there is Hayden who is also entering a new, exciting stage in her life. The toddler stage! She is talking up a storm, dancing, singing, and completely living life to the fullest!

While Brenna is crying about 90% of the day, this is how happy Hayden is about 90% of the day.



What a vivacious little thing she is! I know from past experience how quickly kids go from baby to toddler to school-age....I don't want to miss out on one smile, one laugh, or one new word. So, again, I have to commit myself daily to hand over my worries to God.... To know that no matter what, He loves my children even more than I do, more than I can possibly imagine.... And to always remember that His plans for them are even better than my own!! I am so thankful for my faith during these difficult times, knowing that I can rest in His comfort.

Pumpkins, pirates, potato heads....and, well...puke.

This has been one heck of a week! Not only was I wrapping up one of the most INSANE months of work I have ever had, but we were also dealing with little Brenna's tummy issues. Remember my last post where I thought perhaps we were in the clear with that whole thing? Well, I was sadly mistaken. Things seem to have gotten progressively worse and we're not really sure why. So we had an upper Gi appointment for her, which came back completely normal. You would think I would be elated at those results, and don't get me wrong, I am so thankful it came back that way. At the same time, I am still left a bit frustrated trying to figure out why she seems like she's in so much pain all the time.

Today we went back to the doctor and he started her on a different medication. Boy do I hope this is the magic drug! He also ordered a head ultrasound, which normally would freak me out....but surprisingly, I'm not at all worried. I know that he's just trying to be careful and explore all possibities. I am thankful to have such a thorough pediatrician! I am pretty confident though that these issues are related somehow to eating and digestion, which is why I'm not too concerned over the whole head thing.


But that's not what I wanted to post (except to say that things have been very busy these days!) I have much cuter and sweeter things to talk about.

Like these two beautiful girls....



We went last weekend to the pumpkin patch with Nama. We drove all the way to Escondido, which I wasn't too thrilled about. But once we got there, it was so worth it. The girls had a ton of fun!!



The girls on a hay ride....Hayden was fascinated by the long stalks of corn around us!



Enjoying snow cones!



My sweet girl...



Picking out pumpkins!







For Halloween, we decided not to trick-or-treat this year, and instead just enjoyed time with family.

Here's my little pink pirate and yellow bumble bee.




In lieu of carving pumpkins, we made potato head pumpkins instead - it was so much fun!









And the finished product:




And where is baby Brenna you ask?

Puking of course!


Thanks Deda for holding her so much!!! You're the best!

Dear Brenna

My little Brenna will be 3 months old this week. I have such mixed feelings about it all. On the one hand, I can't believe she is almost past the newborn stage. Especially since my husband got the big "V" and we realize that she will forever be our last newborn. It's actually very surreal to think about. But, and there's a big but....I'll give you the ugly truth. I am also SO relieved that she is getting bigger with the hopes that her colic and reflux will start to heal. The past few weeks have seemed almost like an eternity just trying to make it through one more day with a very fussy baby.

With all of that in mind, it makes me very sad to think that I just want my precious little newborn to grow, ESPECIALLY since she is our last. I wish so badly that I was able to savour each moment with her. I wish I could just hold her against me for hours without hearing her scream bloody murder for apparently no reason at all. I wish I could feed her without worrying that she's in pain, or that she's going to cry afterward until eventually she falls asleep. It's been a challenging road and one that I will never walk again. And because of that, I'm both relieved and sad at the same time....

But, I digress.... this post is for you my little bear....

Dear Brenna Bear,

I love you with all of my heart, and you have been such a blessing to us. You will forever be the baby in the family no matter hold old you are. Here are some of the things that you are doing right now:

You can hold your head up pretty well
You are sleeping at night up to 7 hours! Good job little one!
You love to be held, but you have to be in just the right position or your tummy will hurt
You love your swing, but only the one that goes side to side (You hated the front to back kind....so your Daddy loves you so much that he bought you a side to side swing for our room too!)
You are drinking 4 ounce bottles like they are going out of style! You can eat girl!
You hate taking your medicine, and it usually makes you scream. Mommy is so sorry that she has to give it to you, but I know it helps your little tummy.
You love your big sisters and they make you laugh a lot!
Your daddy is probably your favorite person right now. As soon as he gets home and holds you, you give him a HUGE smile from ear to ear.
Speaking of smiles, you have the cutest little smile I have ever seen. Your Nama calls it a pixie smile (whatever that means)!
You have a very sweet nature and I think you will be calm once your tummy feels better. You don't seem quite as hyper as your big sister Hayden (at least not yet!)
You grunt ALL the time in your sleep. That's why mommy and daddy let you sleep in your swing at night because you don't make quite as much noise there. I think it makes you more comfortable.
You just found your hands and you think they taste yummy!
You haven't decided yet about the Paci. I think you have a love/hate relationship right now. Perhaps it's because your big sister Hayden always tries to shove it in your mouth!!!

Last but certainly not least, you are such a joy to have in our lives, and I am so looking forward to getting to know your little personality! Mommy loves you very much baby girl!!!

Pictures are worth a thousand words

I would love to be able to say that taking three kids to an afternoon Radio Disney event was a piece of cake. I would love to be able to say that my precious little baby never made a peep. And I would love to be able to say that I was the perfect, patient mommy bringing a sense of calm to an otherwise chaotic situation. But all of those statements would simply be false. I would also love to say that I had enough energy at 10:30pm at night to write all about my experience....but unfortunately, that's not true either.

So instead, I'll try to capture the day with pictures.

Here we are at the beginning of the day....we're having fun so far....


And here's my sister (aka surrogate weekend-hubby) holding baby Brenna....



This is Logan and her friends learning some Miley dances.



And some more dancing...they're definitely having a good time!




After about an hour.....Baby's non-stop crying = a very sad mommy.



And after several hours, even party-girl Hayden is pooped....



But at least one of us still has a sense of humor!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

This weekend was one of the best I can remember. On Friday, my beautiful, wonderful, talented, loving sister Denise (aka Deda) came over to help me with the girls since Todd was in Vegas for work. She is such a great Aunt and an even better sister, and I am SOOOOOO thankful for our relationship!

Here she is feeding baby Brenna.



Do you notice the pink tummy band around Brenna? This is my new little gadget, called the "Happy Tummy." It has a little pouch filled with an aromatherapy herbal mix. It's supposed to help with colic. (She seems to like it, but it's still no magic cure as far as I can tell)

Then, on Saturday, all of us girls went to the South Coast Plaza for a Selena Gomez signing. I have never seen such madness! There were approximately 2000 fans there to see her, and of course my little Lolo was one of them! We waited in the line for 6 hours. Correction - my SISTER and friend Bryan waited in line. I pretty much stayed with the babies and went back and forth bringing food and treats. I can hardly believe how good the girls were. Hayden LOVES people and was so cute all day. She kept kicking her feet up on her stroller and waving to people as they passed by. This is her once we finally let her out for awhile.



What a little cutie! She was such a trooper. And baby Brenna hardly cried the whole day (but I didn't get a picture unfortunately). As for Logan, she was on cloud nine and it barely phased her to be out in the sun on her feet for that many hours.
Here she is with her new friend Kaiya (Bryan's daughter).




And this is them looking at their new CD's and all of the songs they can't wait to sing!!



Once we finally got close, the girls were so excited! Here is the best shot I could get of Selena up close.





Though it really did feel like forever once we were there, it was so worth it to see how happy the girls were. My shy, quiet little Logan literally screamed about three times when Selena finally got in our view. And then when she got to meet her, she told her how much she loved her and how pretty she was. Selena was so gracious and nice and thanked Logan for being such a great fan. Logan says she thinks Selena told her she was pretty too, but she can't remember for sure. I think she was just so excited that it's all sort of a blur now. But the whole way home, Logan kept saying "I met Selena Gomez. I actually met Selena Gomez. This is the best day of my life!"

Well, thanks to all of my girls and my sister, this was one of the best days of my life as well!!!

Do I see a pattern?

Tonight is one of my favorite TV nights, so this will be a super quick post. I just have to share these two pictures of my girls from this week....

I think I see a pattern and I'm not sure it's a good one.

This is Hayden after I kept taking her picture while she was playing at Scats Gymnastics. She has that look like "Seriously Mom? Can't you just leave me alone?

"

She seems so young to already have such attitude. But then, I see this picture of Logan and realize where she might be getting it.



All I did was ask her what she was reading. Geesh, I can't wait till their teenagers!

The Stand-off

This is quite arguably Hayden's favorite place to be - the trampoline. It was the best darn purchase I think I've ever made. All the kids love it, and it can entertain them and their friends for hours at a time.

Yesterday, this was where the stand-off began.

Let me set the stage for you. Hayden is in the trampoline, and as you can see, it has a net all around it. There is a small door opening on one side of the trampoline. I have baby Brenna on me in the Bjorn, making it nearly impossible for me to actually crawl in there.

As usual...Hayden begins to jump. So far so good. Then, she loses her shoe. No big deal...right? WRONG!

She decides to throw a massive fit because her shoe is off and she wants it back on. Only it's in the farthest possible place in the trampoline for me to reach. So I say to her calmly, "Go get me your shoe honey and I will put it on for you" Simple enough....right? WRONG!

For some reason, this was not an appropriate thing for a mother to ask. Hayden did not want to get that shoe for the life of her. She wanted me, and only me, to get it for her. Of course, I try to reason with her (Yes I know she's only 19 months old, but what choice did I have?)

"Hayden honey, mommy can't get your shoe right now because it's too far for me and I have the baby."
Screaming, screaming, and more screaming.

So then I try my stern voice. (I'm pretty quick on my feet, eh?)
"Hayden, get me your shoe right now."

hmmmm...more screaming.

What now? The only logical next step....the THREATS!

"Hayden, if you don't get me your shoe right now, you are going to a time-out."

This time she screams and runs to the very corner that the shoe is in so that I can't get her either. (Momma didn't raise no dummy!)

How did the stand-off end, you wonder? After about 10 mintues of this banter, during which the baby has been awoken and is now crying, I decide to just leave her in the darn thing. "Bye-bye Hayden, mommy is going inside now."

What did she do? She happily went back to bouncing. Looks like we all know who the winner was this time!