New Year, Same God

The beginning of  a New Year often provokes reflection, introspection, and hope.... Reflection on the successes and failures of the past, introspection on how they've all shaped who we are, and hope towards what lies ahead.

This year, I have decided to jump full force into my faith, no matter the consequences. Over the course of the past few months, I have felt a restlessness inside of me. A feeling of angst almost that is so hard to describe. It probably started upon my return from Guatemala. After experiencing a week of focusing completely on the needs of others, and reaching out in love to an entire population, I felt the closest I've ever felt to my Creator. God was there, He was tangible, He was walking step by step with me. It was the most amazing, indescribeable feeling.

I prayed and prayed that the relationship I had with Him would sustain itself upon my return home. But, it did not. I thought my faith was strong enough. I thought my commitment to Him was strong enough. But it wasn't. It seemed as though the stresses of every day life as a mom and a wife really took away from my number role, which is the daughter of a King.

I was left feeling guilty, discontent, maybe even a little angry....

But God's the same everywhere - the only thing that changed was me.

How did I let that happen? Why was it so hard for me to keep God first and foremost in my life? Why do I constantly let the stresses of life distract me from who God created me to be? And how can I ever get that feeling back - that closeness to Him back?

Of course, reading my Bible and praying are huge steps. But there's more. I have realized over the past few months through reflection that God requires me to step out of my comfort zone and live for HIM, and Him alone. I've been so worried about offending people, or coming across as a weird "Bible thumper" that I've stifled God around my immediate circle of friends and family. I've held back on so many of my thoughts and feelings in fear that I would be judged.

But, its a New Year, and an opportunity for new beginnings. We are on this planet for only a blink of an eye. Am I really going to spend it worried about what people think of me, or more worried about what GOD thinks of me? Am I going to work hard to please others, or work hard to please my Maker?

This is surely a lofty goal, and will require a lot of self discipline and courage to get back up even when I fail (which I know I will most certainly do at times).

But, on this New year, with my same God, I seek to put Him first in ALL things - not just in my church,  not just in my Bible studies, not just behind closed doors, - but everywhere.

Psalm 27:8 My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me." And my heart responds, "LORD, I am coming."

A lesson learned...

Unfortunately, my little girls have had some health problems recently– which in the scheme of life are very treatable and minor ( so no need to worry about them).

But the lessons that I have learned over the past few months will truly shape the way I care for my children from now on. And hopefully this info might prevent some of the same mistakes from happening to any of your kids.

Since early September, Hayden and Brenna have been battling a rash that was initially diagnosed as ring worm (which is a common childhood fungal infection). But because of repeated scrape tests that came out negative for fungus, the diagnosis was then changed to eczema, then psoriasis, then nummular eczema, and then even a suspicion of an auto-immune disease called erythema multiforme.

We wound up seeing two Physician’s assistants from a dermatologists office (even though I paid to see a “specialist”),  two different doctors, and our other regular PA.  In the meantime,  despite all of the prescribed medications, my children’s rash got progressively worse.

Finally, we researched on our own  and took them to a highly recommended dermatologist. He explained to us that the initial medication we were prescribed  WAS NOT meant for children under the age of 17, and was NEVER meant for facial tissue. He also said that it should not have been applied at all for more than  four weeks - we used it (under the instruction of our doctor) for about 8 weeks - on little kids -- and on their face.

We wound up having to get biopsies done of their deep skin tissue in order to confirm a diagnosis, which did in fact conclude that their infection was fungal. However, instead of it being simply ring worm on the skin’s surface, it was now a systemic fungal infection in the deep layers of their skin and most likely spreading internally.

The new theory is that the initial medication, which was WRONGLY prescribed, thinned out their skin so much that it allowed fungus to grow deep beneath the skin’s surface. Had we been given a simple, over the counter anti-fungal cream, this probably never would have escalated to the point that it did. It could have been completely prevented…..

Obviously, as a mom I have so much guilt over this. If I could do it over again, I would have researched the medication that was prescribed before giving it to my children. Instead, I simply trusted in the medical professionals that were seeing them. I would have also demanded to see a doctor and not a PA. We love this particular PA, but unfortunately, she didn’t have enough detailed knowledge to really know the negative effects of what she was prescribing. And I would have followed my gut and demanded concrete answers much sooner – my mother’s instinct told me at about week 4 that something wasn’t quite right, but after the PA assured me it was “normal”,  I naively believed her.

So…I've been feeling a bit compelled to share this story -  and feel free to share it with other moms you know -  so hopefully this type of thing can be prevented. From now on, I will be my children’s medical advocate and never, ever, will I simply trust a diagnosis or treatment plan without doing my own due diligence to research, research, research. I hope this encourages other mommies to do the same.

My kids are thankfully doing a lot better and almost completely healed so like I said, no need to worry about them  -- just hopefully passing on some useful info for you, mom to mom J

I wish you all many blessings and especially good health in the New year!! ~ Carly 

What if??

  

What if...

What If the Creator of the earth actually had a purpose for our lives?  Would He just leave us on earth and say "here you are, good luck!" Or maybe....what if He had a plan? What if He revealed this plan through human history over the span of many years? 

Do you believe that someone as powerful as the creator of the universe could actually write a book? Do you believe that perhaps God wants to communicate His plans for us on a daily basis and not simply leave us stranded? 

What if there was a way to bridge the gap between a holy God and an unholy human being? Would you want to cross that bridge? What if there really is somewhere that you go after you die? Are you sure, without a doubt, that you would go there to be with God? What are you basing those beliefs on?? 

What if God has a plan to help you live in eternity with Him but you ignore it because you think you're smarter than He is? Do you really want to take that risk?? 

What if you keep rejecting God's message because you choose to believe the false "intelligence" of this world, telling you there is no true way, there is no absolute truth, we are all simply "good enough". 

What if they are wrong? That's a big risk don't you think? 

If I'm weighing the odds, I don't want to take something as important as my eternal destiny, and that of my children,  so lightly. I don't want to just risk it without investigation, merely hoping I'm right. 

I want to search for the truth. 

We spend more time researching the best schools for our children, the best parenting methods, the best ways to pursue happiness here on earth...

Why not research our eternal destinies just a bit? 

What if the Bible is true??

Do we realize how many people have studied this one book, tried to refute this one book, risked their lives for this one book, found new life in this one book. 

Are you willing to live your life and never even open it?

What if it really is God's message to the world. What if it really is as unique and irrefutable as scholars have proven it to be? 

What if the world wants you to ignore it,  but God wants so much more for you? 

What if??? 

Day Five: Guatemala Mission Trip

Day Five: 

Today was our last day of official ministry work before we head to Antigua. We had a long drive up to a village in the high mountains where coffee beans are grown. Our van holds most of us and I had the "pleasure" of sitting in the very back today. (Think of the tail end of the bumpiest roller coaster you've ever been on. Lol) In order to avoid getting sick, I sat quietly and listened to worship music. As I  listened to Kari Jobe sing the words to "Beautiful", I couldn't help but look around at all of my teammates, seeing them each for their individual beauty. I  was brought to tears thinking about how God perfectly orchestrated our team, each person bringing unique gifts, and mirroring something beautiful about Christ:  

Wayne: He is such a quiet, thoughtful, steady, wise, intentional man of God. He's full of jokes and always knows how to bring laughter in the van.  His interactions with his wife are always gentle, and he is a great example of a spiritual leader in his home. I feel blessed to have gotten a glimpse into his life and ministry, even if only for a few days.

Jeny : Jeny is the epitome of a Proverbs 31 women. The way she serves and loves on others with a huge smile is so inspiring. Her favorite thing to say when conditions are less than great is "Lord, it's just the way I like it." That one quote has been with us so often on this trip!! Jeny loves until you think she couldn't love any more, yet somehow her heart continues to overflow to others. 

Marilyn: She has such an open and willing heart, the smile of an angel, and is filled with so much  love and a desire to grow closer to God. Her laugh is contagious and I'm so glad I got to be her roommate this week. She is the type of girl that immediately makes people feel comfortable.

Danielle: This beautiful woman was meant to be a mother to all, a daughter to the King, and a sister in Christ. She touches every heart of those she meets. She is kind, compassionate, gentle, and wise...someone I aspire to emulate in my walk with The Lord, and someone who is now so near and dear to my heart. 

Christa: What a soft spoken beauty. She captures God's grace and love through the camera lens,  but also exhibits it through her tremendous compassion and love for others. She impressed me every day with the way she was able to balance her "job" with her desire to help serve and partake in all of the activities.She is talented, creative, and wise beyond her years, and we are all so blessed to have her here with us

Mel: I call him the sleeper comedian. Who knew he was so darn funny? Mel is also the guy that finds something special about every person in the room, and is simply a joy to be around. He;s either making someone laugh or cry, and either way he's always a blessing.

Linda: Linda's eyes are exactly how I picture those of Jesus. So full of love, full of compassion, full of an aching for lost souls. I feel that her and I are kindred spirits, and I'm honored to be on this journey with her. She offers me such great insight, clarity, and encouragement. The trip would not have been the same without her here.

Jason: Jason is so wise, so purposeful in his teachings and his interactions. He is such a great walking example of someone who trusts and waits on the Lord's timing. I have learned more from him over the past three years than almost anyone else in ministry. I am so honored to have him as my leader and friend.

Steven: What a joyful, well-spoken young man. He truly has a heart for God and God's people and brings an  innocent joy to our group. He has been just like one of us this entire time, rolling with the punches and never once complaining.

Blaze: Just look at him - he actually looks like Jesus! :)  But more importantly, when he smiles, it is the most genuine smile you'll ever see. He just wants to serve God and have fun... and if he's doing those two things he's completely content. I have really enjoyed spending more time with him this week, and am super impressed with his willingness to do just about anything here.

Scott: Scott is like a big kid with a huge heart...He's a true gentleman and his empathy for others is unmistakeable. I have loved watching his face light up when he's around all the kids! He doesn't have to say much for others to see the love he has for those around him.

Angelica: Angelica is quiet and soft spoken but so open to reaching out of her comfort zone and blessing those around her. When I look at Angelica I just know that God has big plans for her! She came out here on her own to follow wherever God leads her and He certainly is working things out for good in her life. It's exciting to be a part of.

Megan: Mi hermana!!! Megan is like a beautiful rose that really began to bloom on the trip. Her heart is so big that she has to protect it at times, but I could see her opening up just a little bit more every day. She has a ton of love to give, and makes me laugh until my stomach hurts almost every time I talk to her!! Truly one of the most thoughtful women I have ever known... I'm so grateful to call her my friend. 

Matt: Matt is like a big teddy bear. He is the life of the party and at the same time has a deep, sensitive side to him. He is a Godly man seeking a Godly marriage which couldn't be more beautiful. I loved watching him and Megan serving together during this trip. I can't wait to do ministry with them again!

Paul: Paul has been so great at leading worship and offering Godly perspective to our group. He's content to stay behind the scenes, yet truly shines when he's teaching and preaching about God. He's got a quiet, gentle spirit about him, and so full of wisdom.

I thank God for each and every person here. Without a doubt my life has been forever enriched by each of them. 

Today's theme of "beauty" certainly didn't stop in the van ride. We went on what seemed like a jungle safari ride in an open land rover all the way up the mountain,  which is literally called "The Clouds". 

It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Vines hanging, caves, huge trees, waterfalls.... And when we began to reach the top, we could literally feel the condensation from being in the clouds.

It was the closest to heaven we've ever been. Pure natural beauty. 

When we reached the top, the clouds began to move and we were able to see the mountain clearly. 

Then, as quickly as it had cleared, heavy clouds rolled in again and it began to rain. At first, we were loving it! It felt great after experiencing some of the hottest days of our lives! 

But it didn't take long to realize that it was more than just a sprinkle. Soon, 

 it was a heavy, windy rain and we had little shelter.

 We were told that we would have to wait until it cleared before heading back down. So,  we stood there, all huddled together to stay warm like a bunch of penguins!!! LOL! It was wet, it was freezing, and yet I've never experienced such  joy. It was exhilarating! We had the honor of praying for our Pastor, who  has been battling leukemia, in those clouds on the top of the mountain. I only wish he could have been there to see it.

After our little adventure, our gracious hosts served us probably the best meal I have ever had... warm, chicken mushroom soup and fresh coffee from their naturally grown coffee beans! It was amazing after standing in the rain for so long!! 

Later that evening, at the church service, we were all moved to tears once again with the emotional testimonies of our team.  As the night concluded, I was able to pray with one of the women at the altar. She was sobbing and moaning,  and I kept praying for healing and comfort and peace for her. Then I was quiet and I listened. Instead of crying tears if sadness, I could hear her words saying "Thanking you lord Jesus." She was crying out praises!  I was speechless and moved to tears. 

God continued to move throughout the night in mighty ways....in fact, one of our team members confessed that she hadn't truly accepted Jesus Christ as her savior. That night she prayed with us to receive Him, and all the girls stayed up late talking about our faith journeys and  walking the Christian walk. Praise God! What a special way to end the ministry time here in Guatemala!!! 

My soul has never felt more alive, and my heart has never been so full. To think of all of the lives that we've seen changed, impacted, and moved to tears...the glory that God has revealed through His creation....and the BEAUTY of having an intimate relationship with our Creator...I'm overwhelmed. I'm changed. I'm in awe of our amazing God!! 

Day Four: Guatemala Mission Trip

Day Four: 

Today we traveled into a poor village where we raised enough money to provide weeks worth of beans and rice for 125 families in the village. Praise God! 

We had no church services today, but instead spent time gathering, bagging, weighing, and tying. 

We again were able to join in their
culture as they prepared a meal for us.  I'm always awestruck at their generosity. Here they are, stricken with poverty, yet so graciously cooking us a meal with the best of the best food they can provide. This is so humbling. 

The best part of the day for me was joining the women as they prepared the meal. They taught us how to make homemade tortillas. It took us awhile to get the hang of it, all the while the women would laugh and smile, and then offer their assistance. They even let us throw them on the fire which is a lot harder then it looks! After about two or three breaking mid-air, I finally was able to do it. 

As we were playing with all the children, one of the women cooking asked us if we go down the street to pray for her niece who was about to have her first baby. Her name was Maria. When we got there, she was with another young girl who also looked pregnant. After translating for them, we came to understand that Maria was married and her husband was working. 

She was due in August to have a baby and they were excited. The other girl, Victoria, had a much different story. She was 14 years old, she had no idea when she was due, and her pregnancy was the result of a rape. Apparently an older man pulled her off the side of the road in broad daylight. 

Our team of women began to cry for her. She was so young and seemed so unaffected as she told us the story. When we cried, she looked at us as though she was surprised we were so upset. It made me wonder if this type of thing is so common that it no longer makes their women weep, or if she was just so young, she didn't realize the extent of how violated she was. 

Immediately we asked if we could pray for her and her baby as well. Her aunt then told us that she goes to church but she hasn't surrendered her life to Christ. We asked her if that was something she would like to do and she said yes. Jeny explained to her what that really meant for her and her life and if she had any questions. She said no, but was clear that she wanted to live with Jesus as her best friend. It was the most touching time of prayer I have ever been a part of. Many tears of joy, mixed with sadness were shed that hour. 

After handing out all of the food for the village, we heading to another poor fishing village called Chicago. The interesting part of Chicago is that it's where Jeny and Wayne's ministry began. We have been working under their organization, called Extreme Missions, and they accompany us to every village.

 In Chicago, we were bringing food to the birth mom of Jeny and Wayne's son, Andres. When they were missionaries years ago in Chicago, Andres was a very sickly young boy. He was 2 years old, weighed only 11 pounds, and had severe asthma. 

At that time, Jeny and Wayne offered to adopt him and get him the medical supplies and healthcare that he needed. Now, Andres is a handsome, 20 year old man studying in Argentina at a Bible college. 

You can imagine how emotional it was for us to watch as Jeny and Wayne showed his birth mother pictures of him, while she cried tears of joy. We met his new little brothers and sisters and were touched by their extreme level of poverty.

 They live in a hut with barely any resources. Their water is from a well, deep within the ground, they hang their clothes on a tree. It was heartbreaking. And yet their surroundings are gorgeous!! The beach is their home. 

While we were there, someone from the village said anothe girl needed prayer. They weren't sure if it was for spiritual help or physical help, so we followed her to this women's home. Her name was Mileni, and she was in her mid twenties. She has two small  children and was confined to a wheelchair. She shared with us that she was perfectly fine a year ago, when suddenly she began to feel weak. Eventually she lost a lot of strength in her legs, and then her arms. Her muscles have since tightened and she is completely confined to a wheelchair. 

In their culture, they have very little access to medical care. In fact the National Hospital simply told her they weren't sure what was wrong and sent her home with no hope. 

As soon as we arrived, she began to weep. She told Jeny she is just so scared and needs to be a mom to her children. 

We decided to lay our hands on her and pray with all of our might for God to heal her. I know without a doubt that God could, and I truly believed that He would, especially after hearing so many stories from Jeny and Wayne about healings in their ministry. Unfortunately, God chose not to provide immediate healing this time. Does that mean He won't ever? No not at all! In fact, God can use medicine to heal her, or over time her body might heal on its own....or she may never be healed. 

But we trust in a God that is in control, and we trust in the fact that His ways are Higher than our ways, and therefore in any circumstance we relinquish our wants and our plans to Him. 

As we were leaving, Jeny and Wayne arranged for them to pick her up later in the week and take her to a good hospital. They will let Milena live with them until necessary and will also bring her family. They are truly living and breathing he walk of a Christian life. 

Mileni began to weep again but this time, she told Jeny that they were tears of joy. She said she had been praying for someone to come to help her for an entire year, and she feels that we were 

her answer to prayer. 

What an emotional day this was. Sometimes, I look around and I just think there are so many needs God. There is so much pain. What are we to do? 

The Scriptures  are clear... We need to love people. It's as simple as that. Love them, be the hands and feet of Jesus, find a need and fill it, bring others  the Good news of the Gospel that one day there will be no more pain, no more sickness, no more tears... And in their place will be love, joy, peace, and communion with our glorious and Almighty Creator!